On December 5th, Calcutta Kids received a very special visitor, Brie Mahar, who shared her inspiring story with our beneficiaries and employees. Brie was born in Kolkata and was adopted and brought to the US when she was 2 months old. She realized her dream of returning to the country of her birth when she came to Kolkata in 2011 to adopt her second daughter. During this trip she witnessed the poverty first-hand and saw the tangible ways she could help meet the needs of orphaned children in India. She was inspired to develop an NGO to advocate for and help impoverished children in India. In 2011, she co-founded an organization called Illuminate India, along with Kristi Werre who has 3 adopted children from Kolkata. Illuminate India currently partners with two organizations in Kolkata: ISRC (Indian Society for Rehabilitation of Children) and Angel House, providing basic necessities, therapeutic and supportive resources for orphans, vulnerable children, and children with special needs.
Brie, Kristi and another colleague Nicole were in Kolkata in December to visit their projects at ISRC and Angel House, and during this time also wanted to meet with other NGOs working with children. Brie contacted Calcutta Kids and we organized for her to visit our programs and meet with two groups—beneficiary women and their children, and Calcutta Kids’ staff. Given Brie’s remarkable story, we specifically invited women in Fakir Bagan who had struggled with issues of having girl children and the negative response from their families and society. In this community, as all over India, issues such as sex selective abortion, female infanticide, and gender discrimination are very much prevalent and greatly affect the lives of mothers and female children.
Brie shared with us her story of how she was relinquished at birth by her mother and taken to an orphanage. Back then, Brie was called Metali—she was a small baby, malnourished, and suffering from scabies and giardia when she was flown across the world to the US to unite with her adoptive family. She grew up in a loving family and in a typical American lifestyle,but she always wanted to know more about her country and culture of birth. She always wanted to return to India and adopt a girl child from the same place where she was adopted. After she married, she and her husband had a (biological) daughter whom they called Metali, and then adopted Tanaya in Kolkata four years later.
Despite her precarious start to life, Brie told our women that it was her mother’s love, guidance, and support that shaped her into the woman she is today. She said, a mother’s love is the most important part of a child’s life- without that love and support, a child will not thrive and reach their full potential. Our CK mothers told Brie that though they have affection for their girl children, it is difficult to raise them when their own families do not support them unless they have a boy child. Brie urged the mothers, despite these obstacles, to love and support their girl children just as much as their boy children–a girl child is just as valuable as a boy child and can have the same bright futures if their mothers believe in them. They do not need to go to America for better opportunities, but they can witness the change in their own country, in their own communities, if they understand that they have the strength within themselves to be that change. She said it was her mother’s love that now allows her to raise her own two beautiful daughters.
Our beneficiaries were deeply moved by Brie’s account, of where she had come from and where she is now- a wife, a mother, a nurse, and founder of her own NGO, helping vulnerable children. Our beneficiaries identified with Brie easily because of her background and the passion that she emanated. One mother said, “I can see that Brie is who she is because she had a mother who loved her so much, and she truly believes what a child learns from her mother will be passed on to the next generation. I feel motivated to pass these lessons of love on to my own children.”
Calcutta Kids’ health workers who also face many of the same issues were also encouraged by Brie’s story. They all agreed that what Brie has done in coming back to India, adopting a second girl child, and working with orphans is extraordinary. One of our health workers, Laxmi, who is from a very traditional Bihari family was especially inspired by Brie. She said, “I really liked to hear that even though you have a biological daughter that you also adopted a girl child and are giving her the same love and care. In our society it is seen as a huge burden to raise a daughter, let alone take a second one, but after hearing your story I realize how proud I am to have a daughter, and proud of myself for fighting to keep her in school all these years.” Brie and Nicole, thank you for visit and for inspiring the Calcutta Kids team.–Danya Sarkar